For this month’s essential oil and flower essence we decided to focus on the theme of boundaries.
The topic of boundaries in relationships is huge. Many relationships are tainted and out of balance, because the boundaries between the people involved are not clear. As we learn about relationships early in the relationship with our parents or caretakers, often unhealthy relationship patterns are installed in our unconscious from a very early age.
Healing and developing emotional and energetic health often involve working on redefining boundaries in relationships. On a basic level, this means knowing and defining what is yours and what isn’t, which means taking responsibility for your own actions, emotions and energy and not taking responsibility for those aspects of others.
The cutting the ties that bind exercise made famous in the 1970’s book by Phyllis Krystal is a very simple but powerful way of cutting unhealthy and unconscious ties with someone energetically. We use it a lot with our clients and find it even more powerful when done using our YARROW Essential Oil.
Yarrow is a major medicinal plant and a great support for many aspects of the human experience. This month I want to highlight its capacity to help us to define our boundaries and to know who we are. Also, what is ours in relation to others. Yarrow has a very protective quality and can defend us in a shield-like way from negative energies and toxic influences. Yarrow also helps us to feel and build a healthy personal space around ourselves with strong but flexible boundaries. In the same way as yarrow is a great physical wound healer, it also has a huge capacity to heal energetic wounds and leaks.
Many of the problems with unclear boundaries are unconscious, which means that we are unaware of them. They are patterns of behavior and energetic deals running in the background of our psyches, but having a tremendous effect on our vitality and life force. Yarrow combined with the cutting the ties that bind exercise is able to severe and free us from these unconscious binds.
We have worked in this way with yarrow for many years now and witnessed in our own lives and the lives of our clients the power and speed in which yarrow gets to work. It feels so good and liberating to be free of unhealthy energetic deals and to be consciously aware of the choices we make when entering into relationships with others.
Put a small drop of yarrow essential oil in the palm of your hands and rub them together, direct the aromatic molecules around your aura. Do this every morning before starting your day. If you are a practitioner, do this before working with your clients so that you don’t pick up on their energy.
Empaths and people suffering from codependency are very susceptible to porous boundaries and can benefit from in-depth, continual support and work on identifying this porosity and strengthening their boundaries. As well as the cutting the ties that bind exercise and yarrow essential oil, flower essences can be helpful by working on a deep subtle level over time. Our combination flower essence “Safe Boundaries” was blended specifically for this. The plants that it contains are from the high desert here in Northern New Mexico: Prickly Pear Cactus, Sego Lily, Woods Rose, Arizona Valerian and Nylon Hedgehog Cactus were selected for their protective and compassionate energy.
The idea is to create boundaries without being rigid, boundaries need to be flexible and ‘breath’. Take a couple of drops of this combination flower essence in water, herbal tea or under the tongue several times per day and notice how subtly and deeply changes begin to occur.